How are things with you? Any luck yet with paying it online?

Thanks for the good vibes.  I need them and want them.  I wish there were someone to go with me.  Boy that would be great.  (they could drive me there!)  Unfortunately, I have no support group here at all.  I have a good friend in Montana who wants me to move there.  Not crazy about the weather at all, but I would at least have some friends around and it is a VERY small town.  Probably could handle that.  I have to wait for some financial things to come about first, but if/when they do I think I need to pack and go. 

Thanks again for all the support and I will be thinking about you on court day for sure.  There is a "chance" I can pay the fine by internet and not have to go.  I have not had a great deal of luck lately, so I have to wait and see if I get anything in the mail or anything is posted on line to give me that option.  I check everyday, but nothing so far.  Sigh.

I’ve put the court date in my calendar and I’ll be sending you positive vibes on the day. I hope they reach across the atlantic :)

Is there anyone who can go to the court with you? They may have to wait outside the actualy court room but at least you’d have someone there with you. And remember, whatever happens, 100 years from now, none of it will matter.

You have been very kind and helpful in getting me through these very long and difficult days awaiting my fate.  Many, many thanks and prayers!

http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/selfhelp/traffic/common.htm

I am alone most of the time and I think that makes the situation worse.  Nothing to take my mind off of it and no one around to distract me or a job to keep me focused on other things.  Interesting situation. 

I had to travel into town the other week for work and I parked on a very crowded street and scraped my nice shiny wheels on the kerb. Nope, parking is not my forte I’m afraid. But, looking on the bright side, at least we’re not afraid of the elastic in our underwear :D

Are you nervous of anything else? I used to be terrified of travelling by train in case I got on the wrong one. I’m still a bit worried using a small train station I don’t know but 12 years living in London and taking the train every day mostly cured me. Also I don’t like snooty receptionists or any mean people in general. And the dentist of course.

We both must be very brave then :) I saw a line in a movie once where the guy said he was afraid of the elastic on his underwear.  I think about that one often.  I have not sunk that low as yet…..

I did make it to lunch and back but I do pretty good in familiar territory.  I won’t use the parking lot however as it is very tight and I am "afraid" I will hit someone.    How embarrassing.  Honestly most people that are aquainted with me would never believe this in a million years.  Even having to hide it all the time adds to the stress.  I appreciate this forum and being able to speak freely.  What an enormous relief!  Thank you for listening.  You are very kind.

You’re obviously very brave too. Not just because you have a great dane puppy :D but to go through life afraid but face it anyway is incredibly brave. People who feel no fear are not brave, fearlessness is not the same as bravery. True bravery is to do something which you do find scary. I should know, I’m a scaredy cat too.

What I do when I need to feel strong is to play the music I used to listen to when I was a know-it-all teenager and knew no fear.

Well, it’s 8.40pm here in England so by my reckoning it’s 12.40pm where you are so I’ll wish you luck with your lunch meeting, let me know how it went.

I googled my way onto here in January. I’d just bought a car for the first time in about 12 years, having been living in London for that time where you don’t need a car because there’s plenty of public transport. We moved out of London back to the sticks and we needed a car. Hubby didn’t drive at the time, though he does now, so I needed to be the driver. I’ve never been a confident driver, thanks to being put down by my first husband. I took some refresher lessons but I was still feeling ill at the thought of driving which is how I found myself here.

It’s still not my favorite thing in the world but thanks to my GPS, Google street view and a bit of practice I can now get behind the wheel without shaking like a leaf.

As you will see if you read back on this thread, the turning point for me came when I decided that it was ok to be a nervous driver and not to beat myself up about it which only made me feel worse. It also made me feel better to find out that there were people who were worse than me  :)

I work in mental health and Hubby has Anxiety Disorder so I know a bit about anxiety.  I think people treating you with ridicule and disgust is really bad. Whatever happened to sympathy? Everyone’s nervious of something, heights, spiders, bees etc. Personally I can’t understand anyone who is not a little nervious of driving, it’s difficult and dangerous and if people treated driving a car with a bit more respect there might be a few less accidents.

Obviously you have had triggers which have increased your anxiety levels lately, like getting laid off, I was laid off in 2007 so I know what that’s like. If something had happened to you which wasn’t your fault, say you broke your leg, you wouldn’t beat yourself up about the fact you were limping for a while. This is exactly the same. Something outside of your control has happened to put a dent in you and you’ll be limping a bit emotionally untill you get over it. Don’t worry about it, it’s not your fault, you just need to take some time and help yourself heal. Try cake!!!! Nothing like cake to help you heal  :) Or whatever works for you. Make a list of things you love to do, like a walk on the beach/in the woods, baking, soaking in the tub. Then do something nice for yourself everyday. It’ll help you heal.

C’mon, let’s start your list. What do you love to do?

Hello Everyone

I am new here but I am so very thankful to have found this place.

I do not have my license. I am 34 and always lived in a very accessible city so I never felt I really needed it. My husband however has been pushing me for yrs now. I truly believe he just does not want to drive me around anymore.

I have my learners permit now and my driving test is the 23rd. I signed up for 4 hours of lessons with a driving instructor to basically polish off the 3 yrs of experience I have been getting driving around with my husband.

The problem is. I feel SICK. The thought of getting behind a wheel terrifies me. I panic the whole day before I need to drive. I panic the whole time I am driving and then come home and have massive migraines for days.

Even though I am told I am doing really well. Its not good enough for me. I feel sick. I am not too bad on the little side streets but put me where I need to change lanes or park and I do not even think I can breath.

I feel so much pressure on me and I am almost certain I am not going to pass this test. Under pressure, even the slightest of instructions cause me to not understand anything I am being told.

Why not try googling for what is likely to happen at the court, forewarned is forearmed, then write down all your fears about how bad it could be and seal it up in an envelope and hide it away in a drawer until the court date comes along, that way, you’ve dealt with your worry and you can put it away until the time comes.

In the meantime, do go and see your doctor. Drugs are not the only option, there’s relaxation tecniques, hypnotherapy, talking therapies. Anxiety is an illness, not a weakness, but it’s a temporary thing and you just need to find the right therapy for you to help alleviate your anxiety symptoms while you get your head together and if that means taking a pill for a short while then that’s better than what you’re feeling now.

And there’s always talking to me on here if that helps.  :)